Once upon a time, there was a young lady who was under a great deal of stress. There may have been some hormonal issues thrown into the mix as she had recently had a baby --these things happen, you know. The stress related to her workplace, or maybe it was her home life? Maybe both?
Does this sound familiar so far? You needn't be a woman to have work and life stresses; however, you might need to be a woman to have a baby. But I digress ...
In the course of all of this chaos, the young lady wasn't doing very well --not well at all, in fact. She wasn't sleeping; she wasn't eating; and she was having these pesky thoughts about very specific ways to make all of the pain go away.
She took the unprecedented step of contacting someone for medical assistance. That kind doctor gave the young lady a prescription for medical leave and antidepressants. The doctor had originally wanted the lady to stop working altogether, but the young lady didn't want to disappoint the people she was working with or for, so she talked the kind doctor into making the prescription for working half of her regular hours ("It's not so bad. I only have these obsessive thoughts all of the time, but I haven't acted on them yet, so ...").
Ringing any bells? Maybe you have needed to seek assistance for a mental health issue, or maybe not wanting to disappoint the people around you is a regular theme in your life?
The young lady turned in her prescription to her boss at work, and what do you imagine her boss said to her?
If you guessed, "You need to take care of yourself," you are correct.
And what do you imagine her boss said next?
"How will you [get all of your work done] in half the time?"
The question was followed by an expectant pause. The expectant pause was not placed there because the boss wanted the young lady to realize she should have taken the full-time leave --it was a legitimate logistical question.
"How will you [get all of your work done] in half the time?"
The question was followed by an expectant pause. The expectant pause was not placed there because the boss wanted the young lady to realize she should have taken the full-time leave --it was a legitimate logistical question.
Which brings us to the point of the story: so often we say to people, "Take care of yourself." We don't mean it a lot of the time, though. We mean, "Take care of yourself as long as it doesn't inconvenience me."
This story was just an illustration. It happens in many different ways in life. When you come across a person who needs help, what do you do? I don't know. I'm asking. I would think asking, "What do you need?", and, if the person is unable to figure out what they need, maybe observing and asking specifically, "Can I help you with ___?" would be good. I don't think the general statement "Take care of yourself" is at all helpful, however --if the person could take care of him- or herself, that person would be doing it already.
And before signing off and making it seem I feel superior in this matter, I am guilty of doing this. Platitudes are much easier than showing up. I have done this --I have done this recently. I am also the young lady in the story, so I've seen the other side, as well.
Whether or not I have an answer, I do know it's a problem that needs a solution. If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.
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