nanowrimo: the revenge

Sweet Jesus. Is it over yet?

Did the novel miraculously write itself? Did magical elves sneak out of the cupboards to craft a story while I slept or perhaps while I was at work all day?

No?

Oh. That's probably a good thing because, uh, cupboard-dwelling elves sound kind of creepy. But it would be nice to be further along.

I've seen many, many word count updates for NaNoWriMo on Twitter. While I know it is wrong to compare one's own work to other people's, and while I am very happy that other people are progressing as well as they are, I can't help but feel a little behind because I'm pretty sure I am. I have no word count to report because, to be honest, I have no idea how many words I have. It is in the nature of what I am writing that word counts are a bit misleading, anyway (don't want to give too much away, but I have five pages filled with text that count as five words total --a reader's dream!).

On the plus side of the whole experience so far, I have begun working again on the novel I abandoned about 18 months ago. I have resisted the urge to chuck it to the side to concentrate on short stories, which I honestly prefer writing. I have sorted out some of the details that stumped me before. I have a clear vision now of what the story is about, and more importantly, why I feel strongly about finishing it. Not that I have anything earth-shattering to contribute to the literary canon, but it is mine, and I've grown quite fond of the idea of putting this thing together in a way that doesn't suck too badly.

Other things I've been learning/thinking about:

1. Ksenia Anske mentioned something recently on Twitter, and an essay I read in The Paris Review by Claire Dederer today echoed a similar sentiment: protect your time for writing. I've been giving mine away because everything & everyone else is more important. That's fine, but I'd like to finish this, well if possible. At some point very soon, I need to become more antisocial (but not in a Unabomber kind of way). 

2. Speaking of Twitter, Twitter is like crack. I need to reverse the ratio of Twitter time: writing time. Fact.

3. When I am done with this, I need to read more novels. I used to read more novels than I do now. I'm a bit rusty on remembering exactly what goes where in a good one.

4. For things of this length, not having a collaborator to bounce ideas off of is making me cuckoo. I like collaboration A LOT. I like talking to myself a little, but collaboration makes me happy. Writing anything this long without feedback plays on my insecurities, I suppose.

5. I should have researched and thought about this book in more detail before I started putting too much down on paper. I know I'm not supposed to edit during NaNoWriMo, but to hell with that --I couldn't look at some of this without wanting to throw up. I edited some. It happened to result in a few more words, so there.

6. In future, when writing something for NaNoWriMo or other similar event of short duration and maximum output, I should write what I know. What am I writing this NaNoWriMo about? No idea. Seriously, I have to look everything up. Things I know nothing about, yet am trying to write about knowledgeably: academia, philosophy, animal research, African-American history, Las Vegas casinos, thought experiments, the work of William Shakespeare (okay, I know a little about that), webcams, and more philosophy. Oh, and stripping, Korean attitudes toward female-to-male transsexuals, and homeless encampments. Next time I try something this long, my protagonist will be named Agatha Sidewinder and I will just keep a diary and call it fiction.

Not giving up, but sweet Jesus ... 

There are eight more days and no elves hiding in my cupboards. I hope.