Thursday, December 14, 2017

birthday eve reflections

Birthday tomorrow. Yup yup yup ...

Ordinarily, I am a fan of birthdays. Today, however, I am feeling rather tired --winter is hitting me extra hard this year. Am I getting old?

The answer is yes. And that's a good thing. The answer is no, also a good thing. The answer is yes and no, because it's complicated.

Yes, I am getting old. Until one of us invents a time machine (won't be me --I have trouble updating my operating system), time moves in a forward direction. Every once in a while, we might have a memory, but time goes that away. 

Forward would lead to older, not old, you say? True, but eventually older is old. That's fine. Old isn't dead --it's just old. Old means adjusting your way of living slightly to accommodate changes that go with age. Need longer? Take longer. Can't do back flips anymore? Make pancakes & flip them backwards. Adjust.

No, I am not getting old. The whole age is a state of mind thing is partially true. There has to be something in life you are excited about, and if you have that, then you're fine, regardless of age. It's been hard lately to feel excited in a way I felt pre-November 2016. You know what I'm saying. The world is what it is, and we've all been experiencing the equivalent of existential dread on steroids. 

To that, I say, I do not give anyone permission to mess up my birthday. Come to think of it, I do not give anyone permission to mess up any other day, either, but my birthday? No. F*** off. It's mine, and you can't have it, so there. 

Unless you'd like to share it --I'm always happy to share.

Am I getting old? Hell yeah --eventually. And there will be cake, so it's all good.





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