weight loss secrets!

"Are you on a diet? You look like you've lost weight. You look great!"

Raise your hand if you have ever had this conversation with anyone or overheard this conversation. I'm seeing a lot of hands raised --or I would, if you all had your webcams on.

This morning, I'd like to offer something else you can say to someone if you notice they have lost a lot of weight, because people (oddly enough) are not always trying to lose weight.

When I lose weight, I lose weight for two reasons: 1) I have cancer, or 2) I have a major depressive episode coming on. Both are bad, in case you weren't sure.

With cancer, it's often one of the first tell-tale signs, losing weight without trying. With depression, I lose the appetite to eat because food doesn't taste like anything and food in my stomach makes me feel nauseated.

There are a myriad of other reasons people lose weight, too, besides actively trying to lose weight through diet and exercise. Anorexia, bulimia, hyperthyroidism, poverty, ...

Because not all weight loss is good weight loss, I'd like to offer an alternative thing to say when you notice someone is losing weight:

Observe, then ask.

"You look like you've lost weight. Are you trying to?"

Most of the people I've come across lately have been trying to, and I think I may have weirded them out by saying this instead of immediately praising them and their appearance. 

These people have answered that they were trying and then proceeded to explain their weight loss regimen, which usually involves portion control. 

I generally follow up with an observation that it looks like they've really done a great job sticking to their diet, and sometimes explain that I always feel like I need to check first to make sure they're trying because, sometimes, people aren't. The people I've had this conversation with are pretty good-natured people, so they took in stride, and we continued on with our conversations. 

I'm horrible, really, about not praising people's appearance when they've lost weight, but I can't. It may be that they were trying, but what if they weren't? I wouldn't want them to feel like their weight is all I value about them. Their health is infinitely more important. 

Something to think about.