sonnet for nanowrimo eve (aka halloween)

today's the scariest of days --
tonight, the scariest of nights.
our fears? crap words, a lack of praise,
unfinished work, and other frights.

the jack-o-lantern's leery grin
reflects his doubt the story's good
("the plot is pitifully thin --
the characters are stiff as wood.").

we wish the witch would brew a spell
to guarantee a decent book
without an editor (what hell!) --
too bad she's not that great a cook.

don't fear the pricking of the thumbs.
just start --that way a novel comes. 

"what are you talking about?"

Closing in on November 1st and the beginning of NaNoWriMo ...

I'm doing that thing where what's coming up is circling in my brain like prescient vultures. 

"If we wait long enough ...," Vulture One begins.

"...then we'll have some good eats," Vulture Two finishes.

.    .    .

"Not in this lifetime!" I shake my fist at them from below.

Instead of worrying about those vultures, I'm going to focus on something in the task ahead that I actually know something about: dialogue.

In my 'day job' (and before that, in my 'day studies at various universities'), I have to take language samples. I have to write down exactly what people say and how they say it. I have to figure out what they mean when they say it. Sometimes, it's one person talking; sometimes, it's conversations. If a word gets repeated, I write it down. If there are long periods of silence, I time them. If there is something not standard about the grammar or the accent used, I have to note it. I've been doing this for over twenty years. I know a little bit about how people talk to one another --particularly children, but grownups are just big kids, aren't they? 

Here are a few tips on things I have caught myself doing in my writing. Use them if you think they might help you; ignore them or argue with me if you think they won't. I'll be using them either way.

1. ALWAYS read your dialogue out loud. 

Always, always, always. How often? Always. If you trip over saying it, chances are it doesn't sound natural.

2. Don't be afraid to put quirks in the way your characters talk.

We all have go-to phrases that we overuse. We may repeat ourselves or put pauses in strange places. It's okay to give your characters personalities in this way.

3. Conversely, avoid putting your own quirks in the way your characters talk. 

I use the word 'just' too much and have a tendency to put big words and too many adverbs in what I say. Unless my character is me, I avoid that. The worst is when all of the characters talk like that. I've done that --don't do that.

4. Don't be afraid to sound informal.

See previous thing about big words. Who talks like that? Most people don't. Most people leave out words and use contractions. Most people use slang. If you read your dialogue out loud (please see Rule #1), you will notice when it sounds more natural and less natural. The exception to this would, of course, be if a character is trying to impress someone because that's what people do. With a historical character, avoid being too formal. I know, I know --old-timey society was more formal. They weren't that formal, unless they were trying to impress someone. People haven't changed that much.

5. Make sure word choice matches both the character and the situation.

You're not going to have a 16-year old girl from Canada talking like a 50-year old man from Mexico. That'd be odd. The words they choose to use will reflect their culture --if you're writing outside of your own culture, be sure to check that you're not stereotyping and you might take a look at anthropology or linguistics texts to understand the rules of conversation in a given culture. If you are basing your character on a real person, listen to that person and try to capture what they say. In formal situations, people will speak more formally --you can use informal speech in these situations for comic effect or to move plot along. The use of formal speech in informal situations will have the same effect --it's unexpected.

6. Don't be afraid to use silence.

In real conversations, silence happens. Some people are naturally quiet. We don't always say what we think. Use that. It's accurate and can convey discomfort in some situations or comfort in others, depending on the relationship between the characters. If there is no silence between characters, it means they are either in complete accord or arguing (in which case, there will likely be interruptions) or one person has hijacked the conversation.

7. Conversations are messy.

In real life, there are stops and starts and interruptions and lecturing and people going off on tangents and so on and so forth. Sometimes, a character might not make sense to another character --happens in real life all the time. It's perfectly natural.

.   .   .

"Are the vultures gone? They are? Good. Just wanted to tell you all good luck with NaNoWriMo --it's almost here!"

do it wrong

Pep talk for myself --you're welcome to eavesdrop, if you like ...

Okay, self. NaNoWriMo starts on Wednesday. You've been thinking about it and organizing. You've read up on plot and character. You've thought about setting and an overdependence on adverbs (allegedly). You've considered what you already have that's written down --what works and what doesn't.

Why are you stressing out?

I know work is busy right now --really busy. Those reports don't write themselves, and no, they don't count toward your NaNoWriMo word count.

I know life is busy right now. We won't go into that, but it's busy, yes. It's hard and it's busy, but for a reason and that's the way it is.

You know all of this, so why are you stressing? Writing is something you enjoy.

You're afraid you're going to get stuck, aren't you? Like before. You're afraid work or the rest of life will win and you'll be left with only fumes to put down on paper. Or worse --nothing.

You know you're going to do it --maybe not the way you want, but you know you'll do it messy if you have to. You'll make a big fat mess ... 

...And you know what? 

That's okay. That's more than okay --that's called perseverance. That is how you finish. As messy as it is, that is how you finish.

Do it wrong because it's not wrong --it's right for you. 

Say hello to the monkeys for me.

brief thoughts on hedy lamarr

No, it's not Hedley. That'd be from Blazing Saddles, the excellent Mel Brooks film. No, this is more to do with the film Algiers. Heck, this has more to do with the films Argo and Ratatouille than it does Blazing Saddles. Follow along ...

Hedy Lamarr was a glamorous actress who appeared in the 1938 film Algiers, among others. She also happened to be an inventor who invented a code for radio signals to change frequencies. It worked very well and was the forerunner of the frequency-hopping technology we use today in secure digital communication systems. Here's the thing: she offered her invention to the U.S. Navy during World War II, and they turned her down. She was familiar with the manufacture of Nazi torpedoes, she had this invention which would have prevented the Nazis from jamming U.S. signals to their own weaponry, and the Navy turned her down.

Why?

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. I'm on Twitter (it happens), and someone makes a joke about Dennis Rodman. Obvious in the joke was this person's disdain for Dennis Rodman's intelligence, and the implication that there was no way Dennis Rodman could bring about any kind of resolution in the North Korea/U.S. standoff over nuclear weapons when none of other parties involved --learned, lifetime diplomats, etc. --could do it. I mean, this guy's called "The Worm", right?

Why?

We have these ideas in our heads that only certain types of people can do certain types of work, and that that work has to follow a particular script. Before dismissing people out of hand because how could a movie actress invent groundbreaking code, how could a flamboyant former basketball player bring peace, how could a film crew evacuate hostages, how could a rat create exceptional food, we need to ask ourselves this ...

Why not?

"Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."  Ratatouille

character flaws

Who’s still up for NaNoWriMo? Anyone? Anyone?

Well, I still am. That is because I am the plucky heroine of my own story. I am deeply flawed but convinced there is some kind of redemption in finishing a novel, so here I am thinking about it again and planning, about to be fueled by yet another cup of coffee.

Today, I’m thinking about characters. One area I need to work on in writing is developing believable characters. My characters have been seriously flawed in the past --and not in a good way. I wrote them wrong, because I wrote them without really having a clear idea of who they were. I’m ready to try again.

I’ve been reading up on stock characters and archetypes. What are those? Those are starting points that are frequently used to come up with characters. At their worst, they are flat and predictable (read boring) and occasionally stereotypical. At their best, they can provide a key service to the plot --perhaps you need a mentor, or a hero, or an everyman, or a space nazi, or a tortured artist to move your story along.

Here is a list of some these character types that you see throughout storytelling:

Hero

Antihero  

Superhero

Heroine

Villain

Ingenue/Innocent  

Mentor  

Mother Figure

Bad Boy  

Damsel In Distress  

Scapegoat

Lackey

Gentleman Thief

Mysterious Stranger  

Straight Man

Supersoldier

Tragic Hero

Star-Crossed Lovers  

Town Drunk

Village Idiot

Grand Dame

Femme Fatale  

Crone/Hag

Professor

Outlaw  

Hooker With Heart of Gold  

Shrew

Swashbuckler

Wise Fool

Girl Friday  

Noble Savage

Dark Lord

This list is not comprehensive, by any means, but it’s a start, just as these archetypes are. You can leave them the way they are, but you’ll still have to come up with their particular quirks and flaws and defining characteristics in order to make them more lifelike. Being that I like to mess with stuff, I might take this list and cross-pollinate --maybe an antiheroine, or a tragic lackey everyman who ends up a scapegoat (just like in real life)?

And the whole point of a story is that the characters go through conflict, often emerging changed on the other side. Maybe your character starts out as one archetype and ends as a different one as a result of what they go through. Perhaps they start as the villain and end up the hero, or start as the hero and end up the villain, or start as the bad boy and end up the femme fatale? Anything could happen --it’s fiction!

***Special note: try to avoid stereotypes. If nothing else, they’re boring. Don’t be afraid to write characters from a different culture or gender than you are or who may have a disability. Think of them as human beings and write them that way. Then, later, check to see if the character feels authentic by talking to people who know, engaging sensitivity readers, researching, etc., and ask for advice on what would make the characters feel more well-rounded. In my story, I have to write from the point of view of monkeys --I will not be speaking to monkeys, but if I could, I would!

Other things to consider, once you have a starting place:

• Character history -How did they end up in your story? What happened before the events of the story began?
• Physical -Does their appearance match their personality? Does it change? Are they fully mobile, or do they have physical limitations?
• Personality -Are they extroverts? Introverts? Organized? Disorganized? Optimists? Pessimists?
• Communication style -Are they expressive? Stoic and silent? Fluent? Do they speak clearly? Do they speak too much? (Hint: this will drive your dialogue.)
• Plot -What happens to them during the story and how do they react? Is it consistent with who they are, or do they change suddenly?
• Relationships -Why does he/she have to interact with other characters? What is the relationship? Does it change?
• Likes and dislikes
• Point of view
• Limited (describes internal states, as if from closer in) or omniscient (describes external actions, as if from further away)
• First person (“I wrote this”), third person (“Agnes wrote that”), or --god forbid --second person (“You wrote in the second person???”)
• Limited third person (combines looking in and looking out from a character’s point of view) or ‘deep third (person)’ (spends a lot of time inside the character’s head --like first person, but written in he/she)

So give it a try: write little biographies for your characters that you will be writing for NaNoWriMo? Or draw up a character arc to describe their journey through the story? Or perhaps think about them while you drink yet another cup of coffee? I will be doing this, as I am the plucky heroine of my own story and I know I need to do this to prepare to write that novel that represents redemption. I'd be happy for some company.

nanowrimo oh no!

Like a slow-moving horror, it's coming ...

October is dwindling. November is looming and inching closer and closer. You cannot halt the march of time. All you can do is ...

[insert scream here]

I've decided to do a modified NaNoWriMo with my friend, Les. I've never done NaNoWriMo before. I've never finished a novel before --writing one, I mean. I've read plenty, which is good because it'd be hard to write one if I had no idea what one was! But I digress ...

So here are the fears I think everyone feels immediately before trying something big and new (and --let's face it --public, as everything is nowadays).

What if ...

What if I don't finish? Again, in my case. This is a book that's been in stops and starts for about a year or so.

What if I finish and it's bad?

What if, what if, what if ...

Let's look at these.

What if I don't finish by the end of November? Then I don't finish by the end of November. I can finish --that is in my power. I cannot, however, control time. That is not yet in my skill set.

What if I finish and it's bad? Actually, I'd have a party in this situation --editing is incredibly important, and it's nice to have something to edit.

The point is, it's okay to fail to meet a deadline. This is not the same as saying give up now, and it's not the same as saying lounge around and eat bonbons and hope magical story elves come in the night and write it for you (please tell me someone will write this one day ...). 

The point is, it's okay to write crap. I do. All the time. Crappity-crappity crap. This is not the same as saying don't try for quality at all, but be a realist. If you write something quickly, you cannot expect perfection. If you write something slowly, you can't expect perfection, so why would you expect it if you work quickly, which makes it less likely?

The point is try. The point is give it a shot. Work every day. Gather your resources now --there are still a few days left. Think about what you're doing. If you're prone to depression *raises hand*, focusing on details that have nothing to do with real life and working really hard on something you've always wanted to do is a good way to get outside of your head.

If writing a novel is something you want to try, channel your stress into action. Don't scream, even though November is sneaking up on us. You can do this. We can do this. In the end, November will be done, and we'll still be standing. It's okay.



[I've been taking notes as a means of processing information. I may be posting a couple of these over the next couple days, since I'm all about sharing information. Heads up, if you think they might be helpful. And good luck!] 

under the apple tree

I started a story. I could go on and on with it, but I'll stop and leave it unfinished, as it is, and call it a blog post.


Once upon a time, there was a great big apple tree --a fruitful thing that had enough apples for everyone. 

The people lived beneath the apple tree, as that was their source of nourishment. They lived in two groups: the group that lived in the grass directly under the apple tree; and the group that lived in pits that had been dug out of the way of the roots.

Some of the group who lived in the grass above set about climbing the tree to collect the apples. They were industrious. They grew thick calluses on their hands and feet from scaling the trunk, and when they shook the branches, apples rained down from above. Some of the apples rolled into the pits, but most of the apples landed in the grass and stayed there until a grass-dweller happened to feel peckish and leaned down to pick it up.

One day, a pit-dweller named Sam, who had gone hungry for quite enough time, called up. "Can someone please throw down an apple? I'm starving down here!"

What was this noise from below? wondered the grass-dwellers. And why was it demanding apples?

"If you would like an apple, why don't you climb the tree like everyone else?" snapped a grass-dweller named George (who hadn't, in fact, climbed the tree himself but had certainly broken a sweat watching those who had).

"We've been down here trying to climb out of the pits!" called up another pit-dweller named Lucy. "We'd gladly climb the tree --our hands are strong now, from trying to grapple with the dirt, but whenever we dig in, the dirt gives way, and we tumble back down again."

"Fine. Here. Have an apple." George tossed down the core of the apple he had been happily gnawing away at before the complaining began. It's not like he could enjoy it anymore with all of that racket going on below. They didn't have enough energy to climb the apple tree --where did they get all of this energy to complain so loudly?

"That was generous of you," a grass-dweller named Maude complimented George. "Too generous. You don't want to encourage their sloth! And they're devious, too. Do you know, just the other day, I was reaching down to pick up an apple, and one of those pit-dwellers grabbed my ankle and pulled me over and stole my apple! You're much more generous that I would be. They don't deserve it."

"Oh, I know. It was just to get some peace and quiet. I was done with it, anyway."

"Still, it'll only encourage them to be loud again."

"We can hear you, you know," Lucy called up.

"See what I mean?"



It was just an idea that came to mind when I woke up one day this week. I stopped where humanity looks pretty bleak, but it doesn't have to end that way. Any ideas for how the two groups can come together?

And some questions about what's already there:

• What do you think of the pit-dweller who stole the apple?
• Do you think it makes sense for only some of the grass-dwellers to climb the apple tree? Why or why not?
• How did the grass-dwellers and the pit-dwellers end up in such different circumstances in the first place (with the pit-dwellers obviously placed at a disadvantage)?

friday night poem

A Friday night at ho-em --
I think I'll write a poem.
Oh no. This poem stinks --
At least, that's what I thinks.

what do you value?

Tried this in therapy today --give it a try! It's a actually pretty difficult. I've included a link to a set of cards which includes definitions of each of the possible values. You can also print out the cards and sort them, if you're into that kind of thing.

You can only pick ten (10). Which of them are most important to you in your life? And what do you need to feel fulfilled as a human being? (If you're a writer, feel free to try these for your characters --what do they want? Try it in preparation for NaNoWriMo!)

Acceptance
Accuracy
Achievement
Adventure
Attractiveness
Authority
Autonomy
Beauty
Caring
Challenge
Change
Comfort
Commitment
Compassion
Contribution
Cooperation
Courtesy
Creativity
Dependability
Duty
Ecology
Excitement
Faithfulness
Fame
Family
Fitness
Flexibility
Forgiveness
Friendship
Fun
Generosity
Genuineness
God's Will
Growth
Health
Helpfulness
Honesty
Hope
Humility
Humor
Independence
Industry
Inner Peace
Intimacy
Justice
Knowledge
Leisure
Loved
Loving
Mastery
Mindfulness
Moderation
Monogamy
Non-Conformity
Nurturance
Openness
Order
Passion
Pleasure
Popularity
Power
Purpose
Rationality
Realism
Responsibility
Risk
Romance
Safety
Self-Acceptance
Self-Control
Self-Esteem
Self-Knowledge
Service
Sexuality
Simplicity
Solitude
Spirituality
Stability
Tolerance
Tradition
Virtue
Wealth

Remember: you can only pick ten! What do you value? 

i love words

How do I love words? Let me count the ways ...

I love the sounds in words (alternately, I love that I don't love the sounds in words and that makes me wrinkle my nose up at them).

I love the meanings of words, especially the slippery ones that change depending on who says them and where and in what tone of voice.

I love the intent of words --particularly the words that let us know we are not alone in the world and someone else may share an understanding.

I love that there is a word (silence) that signifies the absence of words. How clever is that?

I love the ingenuity of words, and someday, I will take Noam Chomsky up on his 'Colorless green ideas sleep furiously' challenge.

I love the history of words. Words evolve along with people. Words appear and disappear and change.

I love the variety of words. Some days, I may feel like I drag; other days, I may walk; and still others, I may prance. What a gift we have in choices!

I love the comedy and drama of words --put words together, and they tell a story. 

I love that I can use words to express my love of words, and I love that words --sometimes, when they are feeling awfully kind --love me back.

personal space camp

Good morning, boys and girls!

This morning's lesson is about personal space. I know, I know --you thought it was going to be on a rocket ship, but it's not that kind of personal space camp.

Personal space is one's body and the immediate space around it. Needs for personal space change from situation to situation, and they may differ from culture to culture. With a stranger, there needs to be more distance; with family and friends, less distance, etc.

Why?

Autonomy.

Autonomy is the idea that each individual is separate. I can't feel what you feel, I don't know what you know, I may like Brussels sprouts and you don't, and so on. Autonomy means you don't have to eat Brussels sprouts if you don't want to. Personal space is one form of autonomy --I am not you or yours, and you are not me or mine. We each have our own space, and physical contact needs to be consensual or it is perceived as an aggression against our autonomy. Those were big words, I know --it just means you don't have to eat Brussels sprouts or get grabbed by anyone if you don't want to.

Well, hello, what's this? A handout from a child's physical exam? What is this doing here? Hmm. Let me read it. Won't be a second ...

"Discuss personal boundaries and acceptable versus inappropriate touch. Let your child know that no one should ask to see/touch their private parts, and no adult should ask for help with their private parts."

Just a little more. You don't mind, do you? Just a moment ...

"If your child is being bullied, be available to listen and support them. Do not blame them. Explain the difference between protecting oneself/getting help and retaliating. Ask your child what they need to feel safe, and talk to the teacher/principal for further support. Let you child know it is okay to say "no" (and explain why) if a friend or bully asks them to do something harmful or scary."

So, boys and girls, if someone touches you without your permission, unless it is to keep you safe, it is wrong. You have permission to say "no". If that person does not accept your "no", they do not accept that you are a person and as such allowed to have autonomy. Therefore, since they do not accept your autonomy, you can feel free not to accept theirs and kick them wherever will hurt most --their autonomous regions! Only to regain your personal space and autonomy, of course.

In all seriousness, we teach this (with the exception of that last part about kicking ...) to children. Surely we can understand something a 7-year old can get? It's not rocket science.  

work in progress

I never took Art classes in school.

I was always friends with the people who took Art classes but never took classes myself.

For some reason, as a child and later as a young adult, I thought that Art classes were a waste of time. "Art isn't practical. Art won't help you get a job," my younger mind thought (somewhat strangely for a young mind who did not have this kind of pressure from my parents). I signed up for classes that would be practical or that I had to have to graduate --Spanish, German, Biology. Practical subjects. Art was self-indulgent, and school wasn't about self-indulgence. School was about preparing for Life. 

This thought process continued on into college. With Art classes costing more than other classes, it made no sense to sign up for them. I was still hanging out with the artists, but I was studying things like Psychology, Economics, and Linguistics. You know, practical subjects.

I no longer feel the way I did. Enough of life has passed that I realize, there's more to life than practical. Those friends who were artists managed to find jobs or make a living. So did I, but I felt like something was missing. Part of that something was Art.  

Fast forward to now, and I'm still learning.

I've been participating in Inktober this year. For those of you unfamiliar with Inktober, it is during the month of October (see what they did there?) and is all about drawing using ink.

I've discovered I really enjoy drawing with ink. I feel more comfortable with it now than I did a few years ago. Part of Art, I think, is figuring out what works for you and what you are comfortable with. I still don't have a style --I'm all over the map --but I've done more things that I'm pleased with. I still compare myself with other people, and find myself in awe of what they can do, but I'm okay with what I'm doing, too. It'll come.

I'm finding I like to use black & white. I like watering down ink like watercolor (interestingly, watercolor scares me because I just can't wrap my head around color) to use for shading. I like keeping things minimal, even though I love to look at texture.

I'm including a couple of things I've done for Inktober because I am proud of them --not so much proud of myself, but I really like the way they turned out. I hope that I can continue to make things that I am proud of and that I enjoy looking at. Are they perfect? No. But like Art and like Life, it's all work in progress.

Based on the Sistine Chapel (turn it sideways) -prompt word: underwater

Based on a photo of Flannery O'Connor -prompt word: crooked

Do what you need to do in your life, but remember to enjoy the impractical.