two herons

two herons.

we watched the feathered pair go winging by,
their long-necked forms stretched forth with home in view.
we turned our heads and eyes up toward the sky
and watched the progress of those travelers two.

you said that herons live as lifetime mates,
like geese or swans or cranes or other birds
(I knew it was not true but hate debates,
and so, I stood and watched and held my words).

the pair flew off and past the grove of trees,
and we walked on and did not talk --
the only sounds: leaves crackling in the breeze,
the stilted silence of our lonely walk.

I envied them their flight and blessed wings
as they flew past and onto other things.

why poetry? (end of 2017 edition)

• Feelings still matter.
• Memories like to be taken out & dusted off.
• Our thoughts are still our own.
• That time we laughed with a friend about nothing in particular.
• The little mew of the neighbor cat means I'm not alone.
• When we read a poem, we watch acrobats tumble & fly.
• Bigger is not always better.
• Words can be a heartbeat, and a heartbeat is what keeps you alive.
• There's linear, but then there's the rest of us ...
• There is nothing so political as seeing beauty in the everyday.

in spite of/because

you are loved 

in spite of

your bad attitude --

I suppose I

could put up

with it, since

I love you.

you are loved

in spite of

your likes and

dislikes (they don't

match with mine,

and so you are

not very interesting).

you are loved

in spite of

the way you

won't hold still

and take the 

medicine --it's

meant to help.

you are loved

because of

your bad attitude --

it is part of
who you are,
the questioning, and
I love you.
you are loved
because of
your likes and
dislikes (they don't
match with mine,
and so you are
so very interesting).
you are loved
because of
the way you
won't hold still
and take the 
medicine --that
fierceness, and you
will decide for
yourself in your
own sweet time.

that face

"The face that launched ..."

• A thousand ships. In the opposite direction.
• A thousand bottles --directly at it.
• A thousand investigations (we'll go with Nixon for today because there's enough distance there).

• A thousand questions, beginning with, "Why did they use their face to launch? The launch button is clearly hand-sized."
• A thousand points of light.

• A thousand products. Go, capitalist face.
• A couple of sillies this morning. Have an excellent day today.

give your publication achievements priority

She sat up in her chair, straightened her notepad on the table in front of her, clicked her pen a couple of times, and then turned her attention back to the screen.

Author biography.

Write about yourself in the third person.

"I can do that," she told herself silently, wanting to keep the thought in her head. Libraries are meant to be quiet places; and besides, she didn't want to attract the attention of the large man at the next terminal over, whom she was convinced was watching pornography. She should probably tell one of the librarians --later. The computer was hers for only a short time, and she didn't want to waste that time on the pervert next to her.

Be sure to list the titles of your publications and books. Be selective.

"But what if I haven't been published anywhere? It's hard to be selective when there's nothing to select from." 

Mention awards you've received.

"If I haven't been published, how do I mention awards I've received? I did win a Good Citizen Award back in high school ..."

List any professional writing organizations to which you belong.

"Can't afford the annual dues, can I?"

Don't disclose too much personal information. You may want to use unusual or interesting things you've done, however, to add interest to your biography.

"We come to the library because we can't afford the Internet. I won't disclose that. We all come here when we're out running errands, and we all get books to read while we're here because we love books in our house. That's why I write, why I try to write after the kids go to bed, although Jack never wants to go down, does he? Got married young, had kids young. I won't disclose that, either. Interesting or unusual? Maybe I should use that thing about the Good Citizen Award? What I should do is probably tell the librarian about this guy next to me ..."

You should consider using a picture that has been professionally taken to go with your biography.

"Professionally taken? How much would that go for then? 'Should consider' means it's not mandatory. Can't. I should go check on the kids ..."

She looked down at the notepad. Her author biography was blank.  

________________

  

a bunch of old bs

Heads up: everything in the next section I am about to write is bullshit. Don't know why you'd read after that glowing endorsement, but maybe a few of you have a little Pandora in you and want to know what's in that box labeled 'Bullshit' ...

________

The world is for the young. If you're of a certain age and you haven't already established your reputation, you didn't really want it enough, did you? If you're of a certain age and you need or want to start over, you're only embarrassing yourself. You're set in your ways. You can't learn anything new. What could you possibly have to say that's interesting? You're old.

_________

If you are young (we'll define 'young' for our purposes as under the age of 27 --sounds like a nice even number) and think any of the above, then you are setting yourself up for a great big load of disappointment in your later life, guaranteed. You think you know, but you have no idea.

If you are old (28 and up) and think any of that, then stop it. Seriously. Stop. I'm talking as much to myself here as to any of you. 

The world (another term we need to define --I'm in the US, and as everyone knows, we're the center of the universe in our own minds, so what the hell, we'll go with that) prefers the young. We love the precocious. We love prodigies. We loved Coreys Haim & Feldman until they grew up. We do not love messes or baggage or anything other than unbridled enthusiasm on shining faces. If there is a mess, it had better be young and hot and cute because ew.

That doesn't mean the world is right. It means the world likes things wrapped up in neat little packages.

__________

Fuck neat little packages --seriously, fuck them. They're just fancy boxes, aren't they? And fuck the world if it can't handle a mess without calling for it to be taken away.

___________

Despite the angry tone to all of that, I am actually feeling pretty hopeful. 

I've written before about coming late to art and expressing myself. Extensively. Seriously, that sums up about 1/3 of my blog posts, you're welcome --no need to read now. In my explorations into what to do with what I've figured out about my creativity, I've looked up "okay, now what?" and have been greeted with a gaggle of young faces (or faces that may look like mine, but with a long list of credits tattooed on them). It can get discouraging. Baggage weighs me down.

I can't put the baggage down. It's like a scar --I've earned it. It's my baggage. I can carry it smarter, though. I'm all about ergonomic solutions at this stage.

____________

What people aged 28-108 can contribute to the world and to the arts:

• Breadth --life experience is, in fact, experience, and we have more of it
• Perseverance --think Keith Richards (we are all Keith Richards)
• Leadership --a lot of us have had kids, so we've had to learn to lead
• Patience --again, we've had kids
• The Ability to Spot and Call Bullshit --speaks for itself
• Resources --we get jobs while trying to figure stuff out, and we're cantankerous enough to work and create (yes, at the same time)

________________

Do not preemptively assume that you have nothing to contribute to the arts. You have a lot to contribute --what that is may remain to be seen, but you have a lot to contribute. Use your well-earned patience. Persevere, because you know you can do that (Keith Richards lives!). Spot the bullshit, both what the world lays on you and what you lay on yourself. Now is the time. It wasn't before, and that's okay, because you were learning to get to where you are now.

Don't buy the old bullshit. You're not old, you're mature. Now go make whatever the hell you want.

And Happy 2018, when it comes.

saying no to sisyphus

Everyone knows the story of Sisyphus, sort of. He was the guy in Greek mythology with the boulder, right? He rolled the boulder up the hill, and it rolled back down, and then he rolled it up, and it rolled back down, ad infinitum. That's him, right?

Along comes the 20th Century and Sisyphus is celebrated as an absurd everyman. We're all Sisyphus now, rolling our metaphorical boulders up metaphorical hills and down they come again and up we push them again, over and over again, until we die.

Except ...

1. Sisyphus was a bit of an entitled jerk, and the boulder rolling was a punishment. I mean, the guy was a king who didn't like to honor his contracts, thought he was smarter than everyone else, and was disloyal to everyone but himself. The boulder rolling occurred in the Underworld, not in this one.

2. We tend to overapply the term to mean anything repetitive (or I do anyway). Sometimes, doing things repetitively is a means of meditation, and is not meant to be a source of frustration. Think of knitting or prayer beads or deep breathing. 

3. We tend to feel something is Sisyphean when it doesn't come to immediate fruition, in some cases within our lifetime. That doesn't mean it's not meaningful. He was rolling a boulder. For what purpose? For no purpose. But what if that boulder were something like, say, advancing educational opportunities for more people or civil rights? You're not just pushing for yourself.

4. With a growth mindset, failures or setbacks --think of that stone rolling down --are a learning opportunity. If we start again, it may not be the same boulder --maybe we modify it before we start rolling it again, or perhaps we don't tackle that hill the same way, or maybe we modify the hill, or develop new tools, or maybe we ask for help. Or maybe that boulder was one we tried to tackle many different ways and it didn't end up being one we could successfully roll. That happens. Sisyphus couldn't leave --we can, after we give it a try.

So Sisyphus is simplistic. We're not Sisyphus --we don't have to be.  We may roll some heavy stones, but we try to be conscious of which stones we roll, and how. Oh, and if you feel tired from pushing that rock? It's understandable. Sisyphus wasn't allowed to take breaks, but you are. 

Happy end of 2017.