Tuesday, November 15, 2016

file under 'will never be published' (no. 8)

File Under 'Will Never Be Published' (no. 8):
Old-Fashioned Girls

Background: I tried to write a cohesive collection of poetry once upon a time ('once upon a time' being 2015, which feels like a million years ago now). The theme ended up being what it means to be a woman, looking at women throughout history, and it went rather dark. Apparently, I wasn't feeling too great about being a woman at the time. It had a sad and snarky tone to it, and that general grumpiness was directed at men, women, and history --because, hey, I'm all about equal opportunities.

For this particular poem, I had the TV shows Little House On The Prairie and Mad Men in mind. Traditionally, and as represented on those shows, there are certain roles that women are supposed to play in life --in the poem, these are represented by the schoolteacher, the secretary, and the wife and mother.

Recent events in the U.S. --not just the lead up to the recent U.S. election, but other events, as well --have made me think a lot about what it means to be a woman. Heck, being alive makes me think a lot about what it means to be a woman. I have no other way to carry myself through the world. I am most definitely female. Things have changed a lot since the time periods considered for the poem, but have they really changed that much? That was not a rhetorical question. I genuinely don't know.

So, the schoolteacher, the secretary, and the wife and mother. 

Of those, the wife and mother role is most straightforward --the woman who is defined by her husband and her children. Is this enough to be fulfilling? Maybe. The other two roles, the schoolteacher and the secretary, are less straightforward. Neither are married, yet they are still defined by men and children. The schoolteacher cares for other people's children; the secretary cares for other people's husbands and unmarried men. Are they respected professionals? Maybe. Again, I don't know. There is the larger question of whether women can define themselves by a metric other than by the men in their lives or by their ability to provide care or sex. Can we? Legitimately asking: can we? We women have more roles available to us now than we did during the periods I was considering in the poem, but even now, are we still defined by the same metrics?

Going on record as saying I love men and children. I have nothing against caregiving or sex. But is that all I am? I don't feel like it is. I think I'm more complex than that. Is that how the world sees me? I don't know; I'm not the world. I can only guess by what people say and how they act.

It will never be published because 1) it's not great (I'll admit it) and 2) that's reason enough. Just because I wrote something doesn't mean it's good. I think the themes are worth talking about, though, even if the poem isn't.



Old-Fashioned Girls.
Ladies, you have three options:
One, become a schoolteacher.
All of those charming children
Who will never be yours –
Send them home at the end of the day
And return to your room.
Two, become a secretary.
All of those charming businessmen
Who will be yours, one by one –
Send them home at the end of the day
And return to your typing.
Three, become a wife and mother.
The charming children
And charming businessman
Are all yours –
Dream in the night of sending them
Back to school and the office.

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